So what are the critical success factors in marriage mentoring?

1. Be growing and maturing personally in Christ. Do you walk through the Bible personally and are you encouraged by believers? If you need discipling help look at One on One with God.

2. Be growing as a couple. Do you date? How is your love tank as Gary Chapman would remind us?

3. Be growing as a family, as parents. Not perfect by any means (with any of these areas) but certainly doing your best with the Lord’s help. Simply, what is your story in parenting.

4. Be aware. Watch for young couples to invest your lives in. For those who you consider your mentors, you probably did not sign up for their “class,” but somehow you spent time with them…dinner, helping in moves, church activities. They influenced you. Go and do likewise. Invite someone over, listen for needs, be a Small Group/Sunday School leader.

5. Be genuine, transparent, but don’t lecture. In other words, run with the lessons that you know are critical (how to keep love alive, dos and don’ts in parenting, keys to personal growth in Christ), and shall I say covertly, make sure you address these things. And always be ready for questions. Answer with the “here’s what we’ve experienced” or “here’s what has been a blessing (or disaster) for us.” As the relationship and trust is built, who knows when you may get the “I need some help here” phone call.

One of the biggest keys…go for it! If you wait until all your ducks are in a row, you’ll never start. I will say a word of caution again though, please make sure you are healthy personally and as a couple. Not perfect, but growing. Take a time out to really check your motives in wanting to mentor. Ask the Lord to affirm this desire, and then ask Him to send just the right opportunity for you to spur on young couples to experience all of God’s goodness!

What keys are important to you in mentoring?

If you are married, can you think of the people who have influenced you and your spouse in marriage, its health and success? I’m sure you quickly can. Oddly, I’m not sure that any of us would say it was some “formal” class, or a workbook. More than likely, your most powerful mentors, both personally and at other levels, probably influenced you informally.

With that said, mentoring will not come by autopilot either. You know what would be helpful in the couples current situation because you have probably been there. You probably know now what you wish someone would have spent some time with you to work through. So, what are you doing now to influence others and capture the times for teachable moments?

I get the opportunity to lead a class this week on marriage mentoring. Really, marriage mentoring is not too complex. Some powerful biblical principles are laid before us in Titus 2:1-8, Ephesians 5:22-6:4, and Colossians 3:18-21.

So I have some critical success factors that I will mention next time, but today, I would like to share what I believe to be the key to successful mentoring:

THE KEY FACTORS: Listening and praying. As I have mentioned elsewhere, if I can just train myself to listen and reflect what I am hearing, coupled with earnest prayer, I will accomplish much. To say it another way, when your heart aches, or you are trying to sort something out, do you want someone to download a bunch of information your way, or listen to you….and then go in prayer together to the One, Jesus Christ, who can really do something about the situation?

More of the critical success factors to follow…