I came across a great resource for assessing and enriching relationships. It is from the good folks at PREPARE-ENRICH.
The assessment is found at: www.couplecheckup.com.
Not only does the assessment cover a broad range of issues that all couples should review as zones of strength or needing growth, but it also gives resources and guides in how to address them. For what you get, the cost is minimal.
“Check” it out!
Well, it was past time to take a romantic get-away with my wife. So, my wife and I recently took an anniversary trip to New York, NY. This was a fabulous trip and we loved it.
Here are some of the things that made this trip so enjoyable:
1. VRBO, Vacation Rental By Owner. This service allowed us to stay in a great NYC apartment with a bedroom, living room, full kitchen, and full bath for equal or less than a hotel room. The location we found was awesome, and the staff in person and by phone was great. We felt like we experienced the city in a very unique way.
2. Flex your schedule. We used the City Pass. This allowed us to plan broadly for what we wanted to do, then flex our schedule while there. For instance it rained a bit while we were there, so since we weren’t tied in to seeing things at specific times, we could see things in the best conditions (Empire on a clear night, harbor cruise on a clear morning). The City Pass also was so easy to use; just print off a page at home to use at the first spot you visit to be exchanged for your pass book.
Highlights of City Pass:
Harbor Cruise on the Circle Line
Empire State Building
3. Continental Airlines direct to Newark Airport. For our city, Continental had a direct flight, which translates to a 7am takeoff and a landing around 11:30am. How cool is that! No full day in the air and airports. The other benefit is Newark (EWR) has rail service that connects directly to Penn Station in NYC. So that means a 27 minute (NJ transit) train ride directly to the heart of Manhattan with connection to the subway system (MTA).
4. Broadway tickets at the TKTS booth Times Square. We used this service twice and it is great. Easy! We purchased Phantom tickets 20 minutes before showtime. Again flexibility, the weather was bad, we knew we wanted to see Phantom, get in line, purchase, done.
5. Great Freebies! My wife and I had a great experience at the Today Show (NBC) and even got free Letterman tickets from a page looking for attendees in Times Square. The key again was flexibility. Other freebies of note: Central Park, SoHo, Wall Street, and a particularly moving experience at the World Trade Center’s St. Paul’s Chapel. There are so many things to see and do that simply cost $0, Chinatown, Tiffany’s, Macy’s, and more!
We loved the trip and I would highly recommend it to anyone. If you’ve been to NYC, what are some of your insights?
A while back I wrote the following, but I would add to this one of the most powerful passages that stand out to me in my own call experience and that is Psalm 37:4-5. I would also add the following links to books that could be useful in this journey, Answering the Call, and Called to be God’s Leader.
My prayer is that you experience the Lord’s direction very clearly in your life!
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I recently had the opportunity to speak to a group of Sunday School leaders about one of the most powerful elements of who they are as leaders in the church…their call to service. For us as church leaders, the most critical marker for my service and ministry is my call. The Bible shows us God’s direction in peoples’ lives from Abraham, to Moses, the ups and downs of Saul, David, and the great call of Paul. Why is the call so critical?
1. It is why we do what we do. Really, what is it though? I have experienced two levels of call:
One, General Call, which is static, meaning that time in my life during the summer of 1990 when I clearly understood the Lord wanted my life for His use, whenever, wherever. I surrendered to Him. This call is the touch-stone where I go back to in my mind, kind of marking time and my life to this significant event. He continues to affirm this call on my life.
I have also experienced Specific Call, which has been wildly dynamic, and has offered opportunities for me to listen to Him and His direction in my life to serve in counseling, family work, singles, youth, and education. The most exciting part of this specific call is that He may keep me with my current orders, and then in a heartbeat, He could call to something completely different. I am content either way.
2. It gives direction and purpose to anyone, regardless of where their ministry is. If God calls someone to be a mechanic, or pilot, go, do it. Listen to Him.
3. It gives the ability to weather storms. If I know I am called to a place to serve that is hurting or struggling, or if I find myself in a low spot feeling like I am being pulled in a million different ways and I am ready to pull the parachute and walk away, I lean on the call.
What has He called you to do?
So what are the critical success factors in marriage mentoring?
1. Be growing and maturing personally in Christ. Do you walk through the Bible personally and are you encouraged by believers? If you need discipling help look at One on One with God.
2. Be growing as a couple. Do you date? How is your love tank as Gary Chapman would remind us?
3. Be growing as a family, as parents. Not perfect by any means (with any of these areas) but certainly doing your best with the Lord’s help. Simply, what is your story in parenting.
4. Be aware. Watch for young couples to invest your lives in. For those who you consider your mentors, you probably did not sign up for their “class,” but somehow you spent time with them…dinner, helping in moves, church activities. They influenced you. Go and do likewise. Invite someone over, listen for needs, be a Small Group/Sunday School leader.
5. Be genuine, transparent, but don’t lecture. In other words, run with the lessons that you know are critical (how to keep love alive, dos and don’ts in parenting, keys to personal growth in Christ), and shall I say covertly, make sure you address these things. And always be ready for questions. Answer with the “here’s what we’ve experienced” or “here’s what has been a blessing (or disaster) for us.” As the relationship and trust is built, who knows when you may get the “I need some help here” phone call.
One of the biggest keys…go for it! If you wait until all your ducks are in a row, you’ll never start. I will say a word of caution again though, please make sure you are healthy personally and as a couple. Not perfect, but growing. Take a time out to really check your motives in wanting to mentor. Ask the Lord to affirm this desire, and then ask Him to send just the right opportunity for you to spur on young couples to experience all of God’s goodness!
What keys are important to you in mentoring?
If you are married, can you think of the people who have influenced you and your spouse in marriage, its health and success? I’m sure you quickly can. Oddly, I’m not sure that any of us would say it was some “formal” class, or a workbook. More than likely, your most powerful mentors, both personally and at other levels, probably influenced you informally.
With that said, mentoring will not come by autopilot either. You know what would be helpful in the couples current situation because you have probably been there. You probably know now what you wish someone would have spent some time with you to work through. So, what are you doing now to influence others and capture the times for teachable moments?
I get the opportunity to lead a class this week on marriage mentoring. Really, marriage mentoring is not too complex. Some powerful biblical principles are laid before us in Titus 2:1-8, Ephesians 5:22-6:4, and Colossians 3:18-21.
So I have some critical success factors that I will mention next time, but today, I would like to share what I believe to be the key to successful mentoring:
THE KEY FACTORS: Listening and praying. As I have mentioned elsewhere, if I can just train myself to listen and reflect what I am hearing, coupled with earnest prayer, I will accomplish much. To say it another way, when your heart aches, or you are trying to sort something out, do you want someone to download a bunch of information your way, or listen to you….and then go in prayer together to the One, Jesus Christ, who can really do something about the situation?
More of the critical success factors to follow…
