Marriage and Family :: Ray Griffin | Thoughts on Ministry/Life

Nov

Marriage Mentoring Part 2

By Ray Griffin · Comments (0)

So what are the critical success factors in marriage mentoring?

1. Be growing and maturing personally in Christ. Do you walk through the Bible personally and are you encouraged by believers? If you need discipling help look at One on One with God.

2. Be growing as a couple. Do you date? How is your love tank as Gary Chapman would remind us?

3. Be growing as a family, as parents. Not perfect by any means (with any of these areas) but certainly doing your best with the Lord’s help. Simply, what is your story in parenting.

4. Be aware. Watch for young couples to invest your lives in. For those who you consider your mentors, you probably did not sign up for their “class,” but somehow you spent time with them…dinner, helping in moves, church activities. They influenced you. Go and do likewise. Invite someone over, listen for needs, be a Small Group/Sunday School leader.

5. Be genuine, transparent, but don’t lecture. In other words, run with the lessons that you know are critical (how to keep love alive, dos and don’ts in parenting, keys to personal growth in Christ), and shall I say covertly, make sure you address these things. And always be ready for questions. Answer with the “here’s what we’ve experienced” or “here’s what has been a blessing (or disaster) for us.” As the relationship and trust is built, who knows when you may get the “I need some help here” phone call.

One of the biggest keys…go for it! If you wait until all your ducks are in a row, you’ll never start. I will say a word of caution again though, please make sure you are healthy personally and as a couple. Not perfect, but growing. Take a time out to really check your motives in wanting to mentor. Ask the Lord to affirm this desire, and then ask Him to send just the right opportunity for you to spur on young couples to experience all of God’s goodness!

What keys are important to you in mentoring?

Categories : Marriage and Family

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Oct

Marriage Mentoring

By Ray Griffin · Comments (0)

If you are married, can you think of the people who have influenced you and your spouse in marriage, its health and success? I’m sure you quickly can. Oddly, I’m not sure that any of us would say it was some “formal” class, or a workbook. More than likely, your most powerful mentors, both personally and at other levels, probably influenced you informally.

With that said, mentoring will not come by autopilot either. You know what would be helpful in the couples current situation because you have probably been there. You probably know now what you wish someone would have spent some time with you to work through. So, what are you doing now to influence others and capture the times for teachable moments?

I get the opportunity to lead a class this week on marriage mentoring. Really, marriage mentoring is not too complex. Some powerful biblical principles are laid before us in Titus 2:1-8, Ephesians 5:22-6:4, and Colossians 3:18-21.

So I have some critical success factors that I will mention next time, but today, I would like to share what I believe to be the key to successful mentoring:

THE KEY FACTORS: Listening and praying. As I have mentioned elsewhere, if I can just train myself to listen and reflect what I am hearing, coupled with earnest prayer, I will accomplish much. To say it another way, when your heart aches, or you are trying to sort something out, do you want someone to download a bunch of information your way, or listen to you….and then go in prayer together to the One, Jesus Christ, who can really do something about the situation?

More of the critical success factors to follow…

Categories : Marriage and Family

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Apr

Crisis Care

By Ray Griffin · Comments (0)

I was recently forwarded a fantastic resource for insights on all types of issues and circumstances you may face in ministry. It is from the capable hands of those at the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. Check this out:

Christian Worker’s Handbook

Please let me know if you have come across anything similar that could be of benefit.

God bless you as you serve Him when times are smooth, and in crisis.

Categories : Help for the New Minister, Leadership, Marriage and Family

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Dec

How to strengthen Families in the Church.

By Ray Griffin · Comments (0)

Here are a few simple things that can impact families right away in your ministry:

1. Know that you really CAN have a positive impact on families! There are some great resources available to grease the wheels of this momentum like Reggie Joiner’s site at www.reThinkgroup.org and conferences like www.theorangeconference.com.

2. Strategically think about all the family groups currently in your church. How do you strengthen them? Don’t worry so much about who isn’t there, begin with who is and the different issues that would be great to address, encourage, and promote with your people.

3. As I have said before, don’t reinvent the wheel. Listen for special events in your area and jump on board. If Tommy Nelson is coming to town, or there is a special LifeWay enrichment event, as long as it is Biblically true and sound, get a group and go.

There is so much more that can quickly impact families positively, let me know what works where you serve!

Categories : Discipleship, Marriage and Family

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Oct

Wedding Tips: The Rehearsal

By Ray Griffin · Comments (0)

Ah, your first wedding ceremony. Don’t be scared, you’ll do great! Let me offer up some quick tips though that will keep you on track and help you focus this time of worship for this couple:

1. Decide in advance that you will run the rehearsal, and have your gameplan in place. The rehearsal does not need to be run by the mom, mother-in-law, florist, photographer, nor anyone else. You are in charge of this worship experience, this is your responsibility.

2. Before the rehearsal, make sure during one of your premarital counseling appointments you have discussed the ceremony itself. I use a similar format with all weddings as outlined in books like The Pastor’s Wedding Manual. The warmth of the ceremony comes from the application to the couple being married, but my format really does not change.

3. I begin the rehearsal itself with everyone gathered for prayer, with a special emphasis on how this will be a joyful, God honoring time. Then I place everyone as they will be for the heart of the ceremony, with bride and groom near me on the platform for vows and rings, and the bridesmaids and groomsmen on the steps as they will be in the heart of the ceremony. If tape needs to be used on the steps or platform so all remember where they are headed that is fine. Then I have them exit as they will at the end of the ceremony. We practice marching in, me and groomsmen first, followed by bridesmaids and their march one at a time to the front. Then the bride enters, after I have asked all to stand. We then proceed through the ceremony as outlined in a book like above. The couple has the freedom to place special songs and such throughout this standard service where they like. So really, you are experiencing the ceremony 1 and a half times per se.

4. Don’t forget important people: Sound technicians, childcare workers, caterers, ushers, photographer, instrumentalists, and the florist to name a few. Help take some pressure off of the bride that day by helping her think through scheduling, and important folks like these at premarital counseling.

5. Help the bride make this her special day. Help the groom make it special for her. This day is to celebrate and consecrate their lives together.

And as always, have fun. This is a celebration! Of all the things I experience as a minister, weddings seem to be the event with the most concentrated pressure on the service. Work to make it as perfect as possible, but as the minister keep it focused on the most important things.

Categories : Help for the New Minister, Marriage and Family

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